I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
