is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
