We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
