was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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