Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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