The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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