he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize