Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
where are you?
Hypothermia
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
