i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
