YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
