ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
