I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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