you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
