you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize