So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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