Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
