New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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