after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize