After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize