I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
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Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
as a side note pls kill me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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