so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize