I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
