I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
