i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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