I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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