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Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
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