you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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