He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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