I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
