I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize