I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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