none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
