If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
