Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
