I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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