I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
