he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
