He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
