why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
