I must be too annoying 4 u.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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