So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Why did my mother make you get naked?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
