I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
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He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
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So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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