Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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