dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
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