I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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