Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
