My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
