apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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