Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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