highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
