you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
