just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Congratulations! We have a period
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
