There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
