So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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