That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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