doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize