I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize