Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
