My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
